Offerings this Sabbath to go to reviving Carson Campaign

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Dr. Ben Carson
Dr. Ben Carson
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a dramatic reversal of previous positions, General Conference leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have decided to throw their full support behind Adventist former neurosurgeon Ben Carson’s US presidential candidacy. The GC has announced that global offerings this Sabbath will go to reviving the candidate’s struggling campaign.

“Although we typically stay out of politics as a church, Dr. Carson is one of ours and he needs our help,” said GC Religious Liberty spokesperson Cherchen Steight, pointing to disappointing results for Carson in the first several Republican primaries. Steight called for Adventists to “dig deep in their pockets this Sabbath and Think Big.”

Steight said that it is no secret that Adventists running for office have historically struggled with securing the votes of their fellow Adventists.

“We are horrible team players when it comes to politics and never has this been clearer than in Dr. Carson’s campaign,” said Steight, stressing that Adventists were wary of an Adventist candidate even when Carson briefly led the Republican field of candidates last year.

Steight said that although he understood the political reservations of members, “anything is better than a 2017 inauguration for President Trump.”



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  1. Bu

    Stumbled upon this page and had to reply. I am married to an SDA and although I am not SDA or any denomination (non denomonational) I am both a fervent follower of Christ, as well as a staunch Carson supporter…not bc he is SDA or even the main reason bc he is a christian (most politicians claim be but I see very few live out their faith…even the vaunted Christian ted cruz)…but dr. Carson HAS lived out his faith very well in this campaign (no surprise from me, as I have followed him long before he ran for president or even gave his national prayer breakfast speech). I am about the totality of a person running, all boiling down to CHARACTER (doesn’t have to be a Christian per se but usually for me the fruits of character I look for align with fruits of following Christ) & IDEAS.

    So for these reasons I am supporting dr. Carson for his character and common sense conservative ideas, serious deep thinker, and only if he dropped out would I consider the distant 2nd option of ted cruz or rubio. I could go negative on both of them bc their character has been found wanting…but they’re both light years ahead of trump and best kasich by far bc kasich is nothing more than a big govt progressive repuke and bloviating fool. But by far dr. Carson has earned my support.

    With that as background my response to this article and new is mixed. First I think we SHOULD rally behind Carson and recognize the points above that set him apart from the field. Yes I am angry too at what’s happened to our country and even this campaign being hijacked by both trump AND those who give him cover. But there is stupid angry (which shows up by those who fall for trump) and righteous intelligent angry, which is more of the carson/cruz position. We need to be clear headed and thoughtful about how we direct our anger. Or else we are no better than Obama and his supporters who are about cult of personality, the country be d*mned. No, we are ready better than that individually and as are really nation. We SHOULD put our money where our heart and mouth is. Personally I have donated over $100 to carson’s campaign in small amounts for the last 6 months. I can’t afford to put a lot in but I do what little I can. I also post signs and give out bumper stickers for those who want to support him. I wrote on message boards. I’m doing all I know how to back up why I support him. This is our last real chance to turn our country around. We can’t afford to waste that anger & effort on trump or even on better candidates who have also been found lacking character and integrity like both cruz & rubio, unless dr. Carson drops out. So WE THE PEOPLE have to get behind him if we want that to stay viable! And that is what this last point is about…a church should NOT give money directly to a campaign but instead urge it’s members to donate as much as God puts in their earth to do, and talk about the issues that matter to God and then following through with it. Be doers, not just hearers. So yes reach deep. But do so on your own and not through a church organization which may violate the law (I’m not a legal expert but I’m sure lawyers are looking it). The people have to stand up and do so not just with voice but also action, and in this case, yes some of your hard earned dough, to push dr. Carson forward. We have to do more than that though, and talk to people about how and why dr. Carson is the best man for the job, becoming better at running every day, but the heart of who he is is his character and ideas and beliefs and faith. That’s my 2 sense at least.

    God bless you all…pray fervently and implore others to get involved!

    1. Donald Tramp

      We can’t “talk to people about why Carson is the best man for the job,” because he isn’t. He would be a good Surgeon General, but not a good president. When I am elected President, I will appoint Dr. Carson as U.S. Surgeon General.

    2. PAUL M.


  2. Ben Carsinogen

    I finally figured out the identity of the “sevvy” dude behind this web site. He is none other than Ted Wilson who moonlights as a satirical blog writer. Who would have known that the GC Prez is “barely Adventist”? As for me, I say: “Judge them by the fruit salad of their life!”

  3. Ray Kraft

    Didn’t Ellen G. White warn against the church getting involved in politics?

    Well, sorry, but Dr Ben is gonna need more than next Sabbath’s offering, he’s gonna need a very big magical miracle. Although there could indeed be hardly anything worse than President Trump, unless it’s President Cruz or President Rubio.

    Bernie Sanders is the ONLY person running who is in tune with the dreams and visions of the Founding Fathers, probably the only one of the bunch who has ever read the books of Thomas Paine, the forgotten philosopher of the American Revolution, his books, Common Sense, The Rights of Man, Agrarian Justice, The American Crisis, were the top best sellers of the revolutionary era, read by hundreds of thousands, his words and ideas echo throughout the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

    1. Bu

      Ray I love your passion although it’s severely misguided. We have tried some socialism in America, or before we became a nation in fact, in the colonies before said declaration of independence. It failed then link it always does. You can have your opinion but it doesn’t make it fact. The fact is that socialism fails every time it’s tried bc mankind is flawed. Jesus never advocated socialism either, which is give everything to the govt and let them decide how to spread it “fairly” to everyone. No, the govt is merely people set up with laws and structure. As such it will fail too bc mankind is flawed. The only place socialism would work is Heaven where there is no sin or flawed mankind anymore…but the idea of socialism there is flawed itself bc there is no need for any government as God himself is perfect and love and by all things He holds them together. So in the end socialism is a flawed philosophy that actually is anti-God in its very nature of trying to set up a utopia that in fact replaces faith and trust in God with a manmade idol of said utopia. In fact those who worship at the feet of socialism always consider it more of a legit faith than in God himself. Jesus advocated loving and taking care of your fellow man, NOT through the government. And when He talked about the story of the talents and other issues involving money, those were very capitalistic is nature (those who invest little little will be given but those invest a lot a lot will be given, while those who don’t invest at all, even the little they have will be taken away). And seeing as our country was founded NOT on a religious doctrine but the freedom OF religion from the tyranny of government and a govt run church, and as such on PRINCIPLES OF judeo-christian values, of which is the underpinning of our society since our founding, no the founding fathers wouldn’t embrace bernie sanders. He is their antithesis. You need to study up more or open that mind and heart God gave you…don’t be deceived.

      1. Frank N. Stein

        “Please note that this story, like others on this site, is a joke. All characters and incidents appearing in this ‘report’ are fictitious or parodied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead (or events, past or future) is purely coincidental and/or is solely for purposes of parody, satire, irony, caricature, or comedy. If you do not find these stories funny, please see your doctor to check your sense of humor (or maybe he should check your pulse). After all, laughter is the best medicine.”

  4. Now, Ben, not to worry, I have contacts with The Don. We are going to give your group a very large sum to keep your group going right to the end. This is the end! Call us up when we get to the White House. We got a job for you–healing the sick and brain stuff. Woe iz me!!

    1. Rusty Nail

      Ben needs a lot more help than the Pathfinders can give. After Super Tuesday, he’ll need the likes of Vladimir Pukin’ and the Rushin’ Army. Oh wait, I forgot. Vladimir Pukin’ is a Trump supporter. How could Trump lose with an endorsement from Pukin’ and the K.K.K?

  5. Southern News

    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍~ ‍BREAKING NEWS ~
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍Southern Adventist University Announces 26th President

    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍Collegedale, Tenn.– Today Southern Adventist University’s Board of Trustees unanimously voted to formally invite Dr. Benjamin S. Carson to serve as the school’s 26th president. After much prayer, Carson has accepted the position.

    “I am honored to follow Gordon Bietz who has provided Southern with 19 years of distinguished leadership,” Carson said. “I look forward to partnering with God and all who are associated with Southern to see how He will make a special school even more special.”

    Carson, a retired neurosurgeon, is no stranger to the campus, having donated his services to perform lobotomies and top-secret experiments on students and staff during a 17 year period in the ’80s and ’90s. Though an exact start date has yet to be determined, Dr. Carson looks forward to working alongside President Bietz in the months leading up to his retirement.

    Accordingly, Dr. Carson has announced that he is suspending his campaign for nomination as the Republican presidential candidate. “Serving as President of Southern is a far greater honor than running for President of the United States, and I really like the Collegedale area a lot better than Washington, D.C.,” said Dr. Carson in a news release.

  6. Bu

    Although this is a satire site, some of these are in poor taste and to borrow a trump line, could be sued for libel. To claim he said what you said he said “southern news” is a lie. Not satire. You should be ashamed. I’m sure God isn’t applauding and laughing. Sickos. True sociopaths. Yes. You.

    1. Donald Tramp / Donald Dump

      Careful, Bu. I wasn’t suggesting that “Southern News” should be subject to libel suits. I was talking about the New York Times, who tell lies about me every day.

    2. Jack Frost

      Whoa, Bu. Relax, dude. Sheesh, bro! Don’t you know the difference between satire and parody? That southern news report is parody, OK? It’s almost verbatim from their actual announcement about Dr. David Smith. Haven’t you ever listened to any “Weird Al” Yankovic song parodies? Seriously, bruh. Like go drink some Postum and chill out, man. Just sayin’. Like far out, surf out, dude.

    1. Pearl E. Gates

      Did you read the disclaimer in the “About” page? “BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog on Adventist culture and issues.”

      “Please note that this story, like others on this site, is a joke. All characters and incidents appearing in this ‘report’ are fictitious or parodied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead (or events, past or future) is purely coincidental and/or is solely for purposes of parody, satire, irony, caricature, or comedy. If you do not find these stories funny, please see your doctor to check your sense of humor (or maybe he should check your pulse). After all, laughter is the best medicine.”

  7. Nicasio Martinez

    SATIRE SITE!! Please stop playing in a dangerous manner into the spiritual worlds we are and have been shielded from but will soon enough be set loose ultimately to their, satanic host, fiery and eternal destruction.

  8. Richard Mills

    All jesting aside-if you don’t see my responses for a few days, the reason being I will be having a complete knee replacement surgery at the local regional medical center. Thank you for any concerns. Woe iz me under the anesthesia.

    1. Ben Car-sin

      What a coincidence! Sevvy and Pres. Ted Wilson are scheduled for complete knee replacement surgery at that same time, in the same hospital. (Have you ever wondered why no one has ever seen Richard Mills, sevvy, and Ted Wilson in the same room together?)
      All kidding aside, surgery is no fun. (I should know.) We’ll miss your good-natured humor and we’ll keep you in our thoughts and prayers, Richard. Hope you recover soon. Remember: laughter is the best medicine.

  9. Bonnie

    Where I believe that DrBen Carson is a good person and a wonderful physician I have questions as to how he can continue to be a practicing SDA as president. A great many things are held on Friday nights and Saturdays. Banquets in other countries frequently have roast pork and shellfish, another Adventist no no. By refusing them could be seen as a slap in the face to a country that has that as their primary industry or custom. There are several things that will be a conflict to his SDA belief.

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