Adventist credit card launched, doesn’t work on Sabbath

Rejected
Rejected
SILVER SPRING, Md.— An Adventist Visa card was launched today with some unique features.

The credit card is available exclusively through ABC stores and will not work on Sabbath.

“Our credit card is designed to be rejected when it is used between Friday sunset and Saturday sunset,” said ABC spokesperson Pam Flett.

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She explained that the card was introduced to discourage Adventists from going out to eat on Sabbath.

“If you try to use your Adventist Visa card on Sabbath your pastor will be notified,” said Flett.

She added that anyone that signed up for an Adventist Visa card would be entitled to half-off pricing on carob chip cookies “which just about every ABC store is trying to get rid of anyway.”

Flett was asked by a reporter if debt carried on the credit card would be forgiven every seventh year per Old Testament Jewish custom.

She responded by adding the journalist’s name to a list of potential applicants that were automatically unapproved for the new card.

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7 Comments

  1. Pam Flett

    This is a prelude to the mark of the beast, when the remnant will not be able to buy or sell. Now, it’s 1 day a week. Soon, it will be 0 days a week. Time to flee to the mountains and learn survival skills.

  2. Big Bag Theory

    I need a card like this for my wife, but it should function only 1 hour per week, and only at the grocery store. I believe in the Big Bag Theory: when my wife enters Macy’s we have a decent amount of funds in the bank. When she comes out with a Big Bag full of expensive merchandise, the account is drained. Please send me one of these newfangled cards asap.

  3. My credit card works every Sabbath for me. Here is my #–1844-666-2300. I use it at Starbucks, ABC book store, local Conference events, Pathfinder equipment, registration for 2020 GC @ Indianapolis. I don’t leave home without it! Try it for free for only 7 days. If you like it, send just $19.99 per month. If you are not satisfied, money refunded. Credit cards accepted. Bank/cashier’s checks OK.

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