Angels completely confused about difference between commissioning and ordination

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Angels assigned to watch over Adventist church bureaucrats held an emergency meeting today as frustration over Adventist jargon reached what spokesangel Riseubuvit called “apocalyptic levels.”

While Riseubuvit said that thousands of “inside baseball” acronyms, outdated terms and “straight-up made up words” were bad enough, the angel claimed that his colleagues were most stumped by the difference between the terms “commissioned” and “ordained” in the context of doing God’s work.

Riseubuvit said that although angels noticed an obvious difference in pay and power between Adventist pastors that were commissioned and those that were ordained, God seemed to value both the same.

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“It seems like Adventists are stuck in centuries-old thinking that values men over women,” said Riseubuvit. “So they call their male pastors ordained after a few years and give them all the credit while female pastors are just commissioned despite often doing a better job.”

The spokesangel said that the assembly of angels voted to somehow impress upon the minds of retirement age Adventist power brokers that “God could care less whether they call their pastors commissioned or ordained as the distinction between the two status terms is as unbiblical as it is stupid.”


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6 Comments

    • Michael Tate

      Also check out https://OrdinationFacts.wordpress.com/equality/ It’s a humorous but insightful look at this game of semantics. The GC has been “commissioning’ women pastors since 1990 but refuses to call them “ordained” while carrying out the same functions. The truth is: only God can ordain someone, and He doesn’t care what terminology is used. The GC needs to stop playing silly games.

  1. SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH is the church of God,during the acient Isreal there was no woman or women priests so why are we changing the ordinances of God,why must women becoming a pastor in the church of God,God is not in support of this,the church will divide.There should be removal of women pastors and the new world logo which was changed.

    • David Lamoreaux

      Have you read the passage in the New Testament about “Priesthood of all believers”? That “all” I believe means exactly all. You want to live in the Old Testament? Really? I don’t think you would like the items listed in the death penalty items.

    • CLD

      We do not leave things as they were in Old Testament times because Jesus came to change things. He died and became our High Priest. That’s why no more sacrifices at the temple. That’s why no more temple. That’s why we have the “priesthood of all believers” now. That’s why we are told that men AND women are to preach the gospel. God took all that work done to point to His Son’s coming out of our hands and put it into the hands of Jesus because only HE could finish that job. Then He – God, put the work of sharing this good news into the hands of ALL believers.

      When we leave it to a few ‘professional clergy’ we are NOT following God’s command for all of us to work in the fields that are white for the harvest. God planned for all of us to work. He showed us that in the Garden of Eden when He gave Adam AND Eve work there to do…now, He wants us to all work in cooperation with the Holy Spirit to spread the Gospel so that He can bring us to live and commune with Him once more.

      Being ‘ordained’ is only the recognition of humans that God has called someone into work and that they have responded to His call. E.G. White was ordained – by God. When we ordain a pastor – male or female; when we ordain an elder – male or female, they get no special powers from God from it. What ordaining means is that we – the ‘church’ recognize that they have heard God’s call upon their lives, and are obeying it.

      The Catholic church believes that special powers are granted when someone becomes a priest. We don’t have priests, Jesus is our Priest. That early model was done away with at the cross. Jesus was both Lamb that was sacrificed and our High Priest.

      Now, husbands are to be the head of the home, that is true. Some husbands cannot do so…they are away at war, they are ill, they walk away from the responsibilities…they have died. So some women have had to take up that part that was meant for men to do, but that isn’t the same in the church. Christ is the Priest, not man. So we don’t have to worry about it when a woman becomes a pastor because she is doing what God calls EVERY man, EVERY woman to do, minister to others, shepherd others.

      If we followed the Old Testament model, then we’d have to follow it completely, not partially. Only Levite men from Aaron’s clan who are perfect in every respect, married, a father, and in a certain age bracket could be the pastor. We know we do not follow that because it was done away with at the Cross. Now, we are in the time when we are to show the world what Jesus meant for mankind at the beginning: all working together for the same goal in peace and harmony to complete the work, bring souls to the Lord. I hope this has helped you understand why we need women pastors and what ordination truly is. Blessings!

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