Walla Walla to fine students for attending vespers without a date

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COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In additions to fines for illegal parking, returning books late and falsely setting off fire alarms, Walla Walla University students will be treated to a fine for a brand new offense this year: attending vespers without a date.

“Walla Walla students will be required to check in at least 10 minutes before the start of our vespers programs with a date in tow,” said Student Life representative Wendy Barstow. “No exceptions will be made.”

Barstow added that this year vespers attendance will be mandatory. “So there’s no getting out of a Friday night date simply by being a no-show at vespers.”

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Walla Walla President Dr. John McVay hailed the new requirement as “an opportunity for spiritual and romantic growth” for students.

The accounts of student offenders will be charged $10 per date-less vespers program providing a generous boost to fine-related university revenue. Financial Services representative Chet Davis said the new fine was a “game changer” that would significantly strengthen university finances. “We can’t be expected to operate while only charging students $35,000 a year.”


7 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    8/28/14
    What a great idea!! Isn’t that the main purpose of our SDA schools? By the way, what gender must the date be? Article does not say. I can bring him, her, my stuffed teddy bear, etc. Send me enrollment applications ASAP! Woe is me!!

    • Dave

      At least it’s a vegetarian site (barley). Here’s a thought for you…treat Barely Adventist like you do X-rated movies – don’t look at the site. That way you won’t be offended. This site helps the rest of us to remember that we actually have to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and not simply follow a bunch of seemingly silly rules.

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