Rain drenches Silver Spring as heaven cries about today’s Annual Council meetings

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Torrential rain is drenching Silver Spring as the angelic hosts mourn today’s GC Annual Council meetings before they have even started.

Wiping tears from her eyes, an unnamed angel tried to encourage herself with the fact that down through the ages courageous people have been able to stand up to ecclesiastical power moves and still do the right thing.

As a team of angels double-checked the GC building for any evidence of stakes or matches, another made sure that no lions were being delivered to the GC auditorium/amphitheater ahead of this afternoon’s anti-festivities.

To their immense relief, the angels found no evidence of stakes or wild beast deliveries. They did find countless empty plastic Kool-Aid bottles strewn throughout the building.

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  1. Kim Jong-Ted (Kim Jong Wilson)

    Angels won’t stop me. The Bible won’t stop me. I will stop for nothing, until everyone thinks just like me. Any hint of dissent, and you will be banished to the labor camps of door-to-door Ingathering. “Unity” at any cost! (Even at the cost of conscience or liberty!)

  2. Jimmy Jones

    Empty Kool-Aid bottles . . . . This is to be expected when dealing with a cult or dictatorship. Where is Martin Luther when we need him (“I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God..”) Where is John Huss? Wickliffe? Zwingli?

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