Children’s Ministries directors in conferences across America are hearing the same complaint from parents: Sabbath School is confusing their kids’ knowledge of the Bible.
“I’m no Ellen White basher but it’s not cool that my 4-year-old thinks Ellen White helped Moses gather animals into the Ark,” said Liz Carson who claims her daughter picked up this muddied knowledge from what Carson calls “free-for-all felt board time every week in Sabbath School.”
“Left unsupervised, kids are coming up with all kinds of weird narratives during felts time,” said North American Division Children’s Ministries Director, John Billings. “Kids are naturally creative and that’s a good thing. But you’ve got to give them some direction.”
Billings is calling for a comprehensive review of the state of cradle roll felt board time to crack down on negligent Sabbath School teachers. “You gotta bring your A-game to Cradle Roll on Sabbath morning,” said Billings. “If you want to slack then volunteer to be a parking attendant. Nobody listens to them anyway.”
What is needed in the Cradle Roll Department is some SDA action hero felts-Doug Batchelor, Ted WIlson, Shawn Boonstra, Jose’ Cortes, Dwight Nelson, Ron Whitehead, the Melashanko family, Danny Shelton, a few Pathfinders, etc. Don’t forget to throw in two or three bobble head dolls. Let these action figures plunge through the jungles, hacking down the brush, staving off the crocodiles, alligators and other wild animals to get the message to the next remote village. Also, show the action figures struggling through a committee assignment or church board meeting. Now, that is a real felt teaching moment!! Woe is me. Get me off the felt board!!