Compliant Line of Pantyhose Launched by GC

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Shortly after the General Conference of 2010 in Atlanta GA., then newly elected GC President, Ted Wilson, sent a memo to every female employee of the General Conference. Wilson urged women to avoid the temptation of following the fashion trend of bare legs. Wilson added that all women should wear pantyhose.

During the following years with reduced demand nationwide for this product, employees complained of diminished supplies and selection. In response to these concerns, the General Conference announced today a new line of Ted Wilson Pantyhose, or TWose for short. For women desiring more control, the GC has included a product reminiscent of Spanks, called TWanks.

TWose and TWanks will be available in a variety of sizes and inspiring colors including: Reformation Red, Battle Creek Blues, Mrs. White Black, and Health Reform Nude. TWose and TWanks will be carried exclusively by Adventist Book Centers.

Watch for a future announcement regarding Elder Wilson’s line of men’s undergarments. Unity Underwear will change the Church!

Special thanks to Roger Mudd for the guest post

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  1. Maryann

    Funny how times change. I know this is satire but as a child I remember when the women in church would be sanctionsed because they did wear pantyhose/stockings because it as viewed that loose and morally questionable women wore stockings

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