Doug Batchelor and Governor DeSantis Unveil ‘Cave World’: A Non-Magical/Rainbowy Theme Park to Rival Disney

Image: Facebook/dougbatchelor
Orlando, FL – Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis have united to create ‘Cave World,’ an unconventional theme park that challenges the enchantment of Disney without rainbows or magic.

Batchelor, acclaimed for his no-nonsense approach, has expressed concerns about the influence of fantasy on young minds. Sharing those concerns, Governor DeSantis has collaborated with Batchelor to develop Cave World as a unique and educational alternative.

During an eagerly-awaited press conference, Batchelor and DeSantis unveiled their groundbreaking vision: an immersive, non-magical park that celebrates caves, cable TV, and prophetic teachings. Cave World promises exhilarating cave explorations, interactive workshops on vegetarianism and huge Nebuchadnezzar statue exhibits.

Batchelor will share his remarkable expertise gained from his time living in a cave with guests. As a guide, he will lead groups through awe-inspiring cave expeditions, imparting insights into everything from the Vatican to vegan cheese along the way.

But that’s not all. Batchelor’s adventurous spirit extends beyond cave exploration. As a testament to his multifaceted talents, he will also teach visitors the art of backflips. With Batchelor as their guide, guests will have the chance to learn and master this daring acrobatic maneuver, adding an unexpected element of excitement and physicality to their Cave World experience.

Critics have raised eyebrows at the unorthodox combination of cave exploration and acrobatics, questioning the blend of education and athleticism in a theme park setting. However, Batchelor and DeSantis remain unwavering in their commitment to provide a one-of-a-kind adventure that inspires and confuses.

Construction is set to commence soon, with an anticipated opening in 2300 days.

 


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