Florida Hospital Building Extra Wings To Accommodate Post COVID-19 Baby Boom

ORLANDO, Fla. — Florida Hospital is aggressively building out extra maternity wings for what health professionals are predicting will be a “post-COVID-19 baby boom like no other.”

The network’s facilities are cancelling any other planned construction and funneling resources into maternity department super-expansion.

“Even in Florida where we’ve been notoriously bad about social distancing so far, people are starting to feel more and more cooped up the longer this CoronaCraziness goes on,” said Florida Hospital spokesperson, Ally Gator.

“There’s only so much you can do when you are stuck inside all day and based on all our surveys, there’s been an awful lot of Netflix and chilling going on over the last few weeks,” she added.

In other news, Florida Hospital gift stores are preparing a massive overhaul of their merchandising, re-branding themselves exclusively as maternity and baby product boutiques.


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 209 times, 1 visits today)

5 Comments

  1. I have found a great amount of humor and enjoyment in Adventist Today over the years! I must say that today’s – dealing with a future baby boom and racing to build onto our hospitals (Orlando anyway). Was a little below the belt for many, many people!

    I am sure that the average couples are terrified for the babies and children they now have. And quite sure that bringing a new one at this juncture of a pandemic is not what reasonable people would be doing…. certainly not and till we get clear and accurate information about the future for health, our nation’s economy, and a good many other problems we face are totally resolved. This may well be further out than 9 Months.

  2. Richard Mills

    Florida Hospital should not be doing this. It’s unBiblical. The return of our Lord is SOOOOOOOO very near, why we populating the world? Get Ready-The end is HERE!! As it was in the days of Noah……….MAGA-Make Adventism Great Again.

    1. Marcy

      Who would be alive to populate the earth after the virus kills off a large percentage of the earth’s inhabitants? You know Florida hospital is not Adventist. It is just wearing an Adventist mask, so it will not be accused of spreading the virus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *