Harrison Ford joins Aviation faculty at Pacific Union College

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The legend
The legend
ANGWIN, Calif. — In what is already being billed as the biggest recruitment coup in Adventist college education, Pacific Union College confirmed today that 72-year-old actor, producer and avid pilot Harrison Ford has joined the school’s Aviation program as an instructor.

Ford, who just last week survived a forced crash-landing of his plane shortly after taking off from Santa Monica Municipal Airport, will provide specialized training in how to deal with in-flight emergencies. “Every pilot needs to know how to keep a cool head and do the right thing in an emergency,” said Ford, discussing his plans as an instructor. In addition to showing students how to deal with things like inclement weather using PUC’s Frasca 180 flight simulator, Ford says that he will train students how to land in case of engine failure (the likely cause of his accident.)

“Not only will I have the facilities at PUC at my disposal but I’ll walk students through how I used an inflatable life raft to escape from a plane that was about to crash into mountains in ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,'” said Ford. “Also no one should forget that I successfully crash-landed a plane in ‘Six Days, Seven Nights.’ Students can learn from that too.”

“We are looking forward to welcoming Mr. Ford and giving him a tour of our campus-based airport in the near future,” said Aviation Department Head, Jan Forsberg. He emphasized that Ford would bring with him “an incredible breadth of experience” to the PUC Aviation faculty and would lend greater credibility to the school’s Aviation degree programs.

“Anyone who has followed Mr. Ford’s career knows that he is a legend both on and off the screen,” said Forsberg. He stressed that the actor’s survival of a real crash landing shows that his talents have a genuine, real-world application. “We need him. This guy is indestructible.”

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  1. Richard Mills

    Ford’s favorite hymn is ” I’ll Fly Away, Oh Lord, I’ll Fly Away”. Once in awhile Ford sings, “Beyond the Sunset” & “Far Beyond the Sun”. Maybe it’s “Count Your Blessings”? Reminds me of the Wright plane, “Vin Fiz” trying to go coast to coast in 1911. Pilot Rogers crashed in Middletown, NY.
    Took 49 days to reach the West Coast!! Fly on, Ford. Woe is me!

  2. UPDATE – BREAKING NEWS: Rumors are swarming around the campus of Southwestern in Keene, Texas. The university, not to be outdone by PUC and Oakwood, has just inked a deal with noted personality Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr., better known as Lil Wayne, to head up a new hip hop major.

    Dr. Melody Staff, chair of SWAU’s highly-reputed music department, said this is just what the university needs to put it on the map. Meanwhile, an exuberant Lil Wayne beamed from ear to ear as he explained how happy he is to come out of the retirement that he took at age 35 in 2011, and stated that the new venture is consistent with the mission of his One Family Foundation. He also assured the crowd that any rumors about substance use are false.

    Although he is not yet a member of the church, he assured SWAU administration that he is open to thinking about it and he does read the Bible. Anonymous sources in the administrative offices divulged that they’re not too concerned about his religious affiliation as long as his academic affiliation generates lots of money for the university.

    The announcement received an enthusiastic response from the students, who admitted, “We had our professors fooled. All this time they thought were were listening to Mozart and Bach in our earbuds. Now we won’t have to hide the fact that we listen to Lil Wayne.”

    1. Big John Flynn

      Awesome! Now I’m gonna transfer to Southwestern. Lil Wayne will be a sick professor! He definitely has real-world experience. I would go to PUC, but I’m not into flying; it’s of the devil because only birds and bats were intended to fly.

    2. Another rumor circulating around PUC is that President Barack Obama is in negotiations with the PUC board of trustees to take over as president and CEO of the university in 2017. The board is still debating whether to invite Vice President Joe Biden to become senior vice president. “His reputation for gaffes and Bidenisms is somewhat worrisome,” remarked board chair Dr. Faith Moore, who was concerned that Biden’s loose talk might affect financial donors. The chair also explained that Obama and Biden will be exempt from the policy requiring administrators of SDA colleges to be members of the church. As long as Obama and Biden are willing to publicly promote church values verbally, they will only be required to “talk the talk” and not “walk the walk.” “It’s a win-win solution,” chimed Dr. Moore.

  3. Ruth Collins

    How awesome to have one of my favorite stars at PUC campus! I wish I was there when he comes to take pictures. This will be great for the students. Who knows if this is an opportunity to witness to this celebrity.Enjoy his training!

  4. Nill One

    If this is what you are trying to. Get this head line.
    Hugh Hefner to become publishing manager for Pacific Press Publishing Association where the Word is Life. … As Seventh-day Adventist Christians, we graciously welcome Hugh Hefner and are looking for changes to increase circulation off many of the monthly magazines.

  5. Greg

    God forbid we allow a non SDA to be drawn near to us, maybe the Baptist should be the one’s reaching out to people for God. I’m sure it must be worthless to have a teacher that has actually survived in flight emergencies, when we already had some that could teach the theory. Whats next ?? Will he be able to attend the campus church ? Are they even going to let him support mission work.

    1. John Flynn

      Greg, don’t worry. Pastor Mark Witas of the PUC College Church has confirmed that Mr. Ford will be allowed to attend the church as long as he brings a visitor’s pass and performs a ritual cleansing bath before each service. Mr. Ford’s money will also be accepted to support missions as long as a team of conference treasury officials performs a prayer ceremony to sanctify each cent. It would be a lot easier if Mr. Ford would just get baptized!

      1. John Flynn

        Of course my comment was made with “tongue in cheek,” as you can tell from Kevin’s comment below. “All characters appearing in this blog (or comments) are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

  6. I got taken in by this lie, and others were lied to through me before I discovered the deception. You may consider this to be merely humor, or satire. If it were marked as such up front when it showed up on my Facebook page, I would accept it as such, and be happy to laugh along. That was not the case, however.

    The wise man Solomon said, “He who deceives his neighbor, and says, ‘Was I not joking?’ is like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death.”

    It is true that “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…” But this piece crossed a line it should not have. Take better care in what you print in the future. Not all jokes are equal.

    i am an alumnus of Pacific Union College, having taken both my undergraduate and a year of post graduate studies there. Please make sure you represent our school favorably. It matters that you do so.

    1. Disclaimer at the top of very page: “Adventist satire and humor”

      On the About page: “BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog on Adventist culture and issues.”

      “Please note that all characters and incidents appearing in this ‘report,’ including any comments thereupon, are fictitious or parodied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead (or incidents, past or future) is purely coincidental and/or is solely for purposes of parody, satire, caricature, or comedy. If you do not find the stories funny, please see your doctor to check your sense of humor (or perhaps to check your pulse). After all, laughter is the best medicine.”

  7. Margaret

    I believe that barely adventist is just that, barely adventist, in name only. You tell things like it is the truth and it is not, I think God calls that a lie!
    I am praying for you!
    I like humor that is honest!

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