How to Humblebrag at Prayer Meeting Like a Boss

Some people are able to turn a simple prayer request into a victory lap around the church basement. Here’s a peek into the not-so-humble prayer hall of fame (may such subtlety forever be suspect):

1. The “Oh-So-Burdensome Blessings” Approach:
Prayer: “Dear Lord, we are so burdened by the weighty decision of choosing between the Model X and Model Y Tesla. We pray for wisdom and guidance to pick the one that is most honoring to you (and has the best cup holders for soy lattes).”

2. The “Thankful for Trials (That Totally Weren’t Trials)”
Prayer: “We are so grateful for [child’s name]’s challenging journey through medical school. All those late nights studying really strengthened their faith (and maybe their bank account from all those tutoring gigs).”

3. The “Future Woes”
Prayer: “Please keep us in your prayers as we navigate the daunting task of finding a bigger house to accommodate all of God’s blessings he has bestowed upon us (especially that new boat that needs a spacious garage).”

4. The “Comparative Humility”
Prayer: “We are thankful for our good health, but we know others are struggling. Please lift up those who haven’t been as fortunate as us (cough cough, Brother Bill with his rusty old minivan).”

5. The “Gratitude Guilt Trip”
Prayer: “We are so grateful for our recent success, but we know true wealth comes from the Lord. Please help us to remain humble and use our resources wisely to bless others (by maybe donating a slightly used car to charity…eventually).”


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