“Jesus Loves The Little Children” Finally Recognized As Racist

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist Sabbath Schools will no longer sing the chorus ‘Jesus Loves The Little Children’ after what relieved members have described as a long-overdue acknowledgement of the song’s racist classifications.

“This relic of a song calls little children ‘red and yellow, black and white,'” said Andrews University anthropology professor, Sal Suffit, praising the denomination’s decision to nix the chorus.

“Even after more progressive Adventist Sabbath School teachers changed the line to ‘brown and yellow, black and white,’ it is offensive on the most basic of levels. Nobody relishes being described as yellow.”

Suffit said the song may have been intended to promote a spirit of inclusion but was accomplishing the opposite today.

“This song is about as embarrassing, backward and offensive as ‘Onward Christian Soldiers,'” said Suffit.

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