PUC Housekeeping: Please flush, La Sierra needs the water

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ANGWIN, Calif. — Tensions are at an all-time high between Northern California’s Pacific Union College and its sister institution to the south, La Sierra University. The firestarter for this most recent spat between the two higly competitive Adventist schools was a cleanliness campaign initiated by PUC’s Housekeeping Department.

Yesterday signs were put in every stall and above every urinal on PUC’s campus saying “Please flush, La Sierra needs the water.” Within hours, PUC’s administrators were fielding heated calls from their irate La Sierra counterparts.

“I had no idea they were so sensitive down there,” said Rory Menckens, PUC’s VP for Student Affairs. “It’s not exactly a secret that we have a water shortage in this state and that Southern California steals our water. Can’t they take a joke?”

“I don’t know what they are getting all hot and bothered about,” said PUC Housekeeping Director, Joel Treijer, defending his department’s now-notorious mesaaging campaign. “There’s never been much love lost between Northern and Southern California but I honestly wasn’t expecting La Sierra to even hear about our signs.”

On a brighter note, Treijer is happy to report that his staff are reporting significantly fresher-smelling rest rooms. “As soon as our campaign started, PUC students, faculty and staff have practically lined up to do their honest part.”

Special thanks to Macman for the story idea

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  1. George Green

    After an emergency meeting, La Sierra housekeeping staff have fired back with signs of their own. The new signs are posted in every stall along with small garbage cans. The signs read: “Please do not flush the paper. Collect it in the can. PUC needs it.”

  2. Ray Kraft

    How irresponsible!

    There were water table problems in Angwin forty years ago when I was at PUC . . . sholdn’t be wastin’ water flushin’ too much in a drought!

    But, now, if PUC installs one of those waste water purification systems that turns flush water back into drinking water, then La Sierra can send trucks to pick it up and haul it down.

  3. Richard Mills

    What they need to do is install a gigantic, humongus pump down at the ocean, lay a 12″ pipe all the way to the school, desalinate the stuff and VIOLA!! Plenty of fresh water!! The left over salt crystals can be shipped East where there is a shortage of salt for the snowy highways. Somebody help me out of this snowdrift!! Woe is me!!

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