SDA Yearbook to highlight rebel unions

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Complete with an easy-to-find rebel listing.
Complete with an easy-to-find rebel listing.
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The 2017 edition and of the Seventh-day Adventist Yearbook will clearly mark entities of the church considered to be rebel unions.

The rebel unions (so called because they disagree with the denomination’s ban on women’s ordination) will be placed in the very front of the book in a section titled “Time-Out Corner” and will be highlighted in red.

“It is our aim to redeem these rebel unions to their normal listing in the yearbook but as long as they persist in their shenanigans they are going to sit in the front of the book where we can keep an eye on them,” said GC spokesperson Soah Bustedd.

He added that the 2018 edition of the SDA Yearbook may have more unions in the Time-Out Corner as compliance rules are tightened across the denomination.

“If the compliance document that just got sent back to committee gets passed at Annual Council 2018 we may end up with more unions in the Time-Out Corner than in the regular listing.”

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  1. Sharon

    In other news, Randy and Sandra Roberts changed their names to Luke and Leia. Dan Jackson will henceforth be known as Master Yoda. At the forefront of the Rebellion, their stand against the [Holy Roman] Empire pushes on. May the Force be with them.

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