Each member will have an assigned seat and visitors will be seated at the very front of the sanctuary where the entire congregation can keep an eye on them.
GC Director of Church Rigidity, Mas Reglas, pushed back on complaints that seating charts were an unnecessary intrusion into church life.
“Our churches have had unofficial seating charts from as long back as I can remember,” said Reglas. “Members can get super territorial about where they sit. So we just decided to make things official.”
Reglas explained that all congregations will be required to print their seating charts on the back of their church bulletins.
He directed churches to select their biggest deacon to act as the “Sabbath Bouncer” in case anyone disobeyed the chart.
Sponsored by Adventist BNB. Short term home or room rentals by Adventists for Adventists.
Advertise on BarelyAdventist
SPONSORED LINKS
Check out the Sonscreen Film Festival!
Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts | SDAshirts.com
.
Share this:
>Quick Reminder: The story you just read was satirical. As in, it wasn’t a real news story. BarelyAdventist is published by committed Adventists that believe satire and humor are great ways to discuss Adventist culture and issues. Enjoy!
So sad that people still take these things seriously. One would think they would know by now.
My dad is going to love this! He’s been trying to get more people to sit toward the front of the church for years. One month he even pledged to donate ten cents per person per Sabbath who would sit in the front ten rows of church. Lots of people moved up. And at the end of the month they moved back to their established territory!
Hahaha… and then you have the family clans that occupying certain rows for years and pass it down to their descendants Try changing the pew arrangements is even worst
Ever wonder why Joel Osteen is always smiling? You probably would smile, too, if your net worth was $56 million and you lived in a $10 million home.
That church sounds more dictatorial than my regime!
I want the front row. The Deacons dismiss from the front. I am out first. I am down the stairs to the pot luck line. I look forward to the Little Debbies dessert. Come on doooown!