SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Adventist Church has annoucned that it is now accepting offerings in bitcoin. The news follows huge surges in the price of the cryptocurrency.
"I have no idea why we waited so long to start accepting bitcoin offerings," said GC Treasury spokesperson, Joe Luddite. "We could have raised enough cash to cancel ingathering this year if we had gotten this right from the get-go."
Luddite said that Adventists lucky enough to have bought bitcoin before their current price of $18,000 would be richly rewarded for sharing their new-found riches with the church.
"A bitcoin offering of any size will give you a lifetime get-out-of-jail-free card that you can use to escape endless church committee meetings or even bring 30-minute-plus altar calls to an end," said Luddite.