Adventists wearing jeans to church punished with parking supervision duty

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Wearing jeans to church now comes with serious consequences.

As of this Sabbath, denim wearers will automatically be handed reflective vests and sent into the church parking lot to direct traffic.

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“If you turn up in jeans we will just automatically assume that you were counting on spending most of the service outdoors,” reads a bulletin insert that all churches have been ordered to distribute.

The consequences get even more dire if you happen to arrive on Sabbath morning with strategic tears in your jeans.

Every tear or sign of distress in your denim immediately signs you up for another month of church bathroom cleaning duty.

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10 Comments

  1. Bob Nixon

    I noticed a young man dressed in T-shirt and jeans come into church today and thought, “Wow, how nice that he feels comfortable enough with us as a congregation to come dressed in what he feels comfortable in.”

  2. Lester McGriffin

    What will it be next? Attending church in pajamas? Maybe that’s how Hue Heffer would have shown up, but for the rest of us, a suit & tie is the appropriate attire, just as it is at weddings, funerals, court trials, and business meetings.

  3. Debbie

    Are we spreading. the Gospel that Jesus loves us all. Or are we just telling people, “when you meet with us you must adhere to a dress code,”. Is this what Jesus meant when He said, “Spread the Good News?” Don’t we want people to come to our church to learn about who Jesus is? Are we really worried about their clothes? Isn’t it time to get over this??!!!!

  4. Sharon

    Why spread this negative thing when you say it is not true…what purpose does it attempt to portray? There is too more fake news and negatively going on. Not funny. Try a different approach.

  5. David

    Although we tend to interpret different clothes as giving different messages, or we think certain clothes will impress Him, I have a feeling that God isn’t all that concerned about the outward appearance. He sees through the clothes, straight into the heart. God Sees the Heart.

  6. Chad Hoelzel

    “Wearing your best for God” is a modern western Christian concept that has pagan historical roots. It not only raises the bar to keep people out of a church full of costume wearing members it is also irresponsible in that money is spent on clothes worn once a week that could be used to live “the kingdom of heaven” such as feeding the poor, clothing the naked, etc.
    Has “come as you are” been co-oped for the ways of “Empire” that create exclusivity?

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