Art majors go to Andrews for free because they will never repay loans

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These two Andrews students cheered right up at the news of the free tuition policy…
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Andrews University announced this morning that in addition to its well-known academic scholarships available to qualifying students of any major, it will waive all tuition costs for Art majors. In a press release this morning, administration attributed the new free tuition policy to “a realization that Art majors will never repay their loans.”

Although the university has warned that it will have to cap the amount of Art majors it can admit each year, administrators say that the free tuition is offered to Art students “on compassionate grounds.”

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

“Let’s be real,” said Andrews spokesperson, Solo Ramen, “Art majors may be able to land enough work to cobble together rent money split three ways on a one-bedroom apartment but the chances of these guys repaying their loans are worse than those of a seminarian finding a vespers date.”

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5 Comments

  1. “. . . chances of these guys repaying their loans are worse than those of a seminarian finding a vespers date.” Hmm…. Back in the day, it seemed that every coed’s dream was to marry a pastor; and every seminarian was looking for a coed who could play the piano. How things have changed!

  2. Ray Kraft

    An answer to prayer . . . no tuition! Now in a couple years when I retire I’m gonna come to Andrews and go back to college and be an Art Major . . . sounds like a lotta fun . . . and I’ll be an invaluable asset, ya know, many years of life experience the teens and 20-somethings don’t have yet! I was gonna go to community college, but this is so much bigger and better! And even cheaper!

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