Ask Auntie Adventist: Is Adventism a cult?

Auntie Adventist is ready to answer your questions! (Note: This is not the real Auntie Adventist as she would never wear earrings. No, no.)
Today we inaugurate a new feature, “Ask Auntie Adventist,” where all your burning questions about Adventism are answered by a highly opinionated, semi-trained professional (at what, we won’t say.)

Q: Dear Auntie Adventist,

Are you guys a cult?
—Everyone In the World

A: Dear Everyone,

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

Oh my! [Laughs trillingly.]

Yes.

 

 

 

 

Tell the World: The Inspiring Story of the Seventh-day Adventist Church

 

 

Just kidding! If only Auntie had a talent for every time that question is asked. I’d like to point out that early Christianity would have been considered a cult too, as a cult is defined as “a religious or other social group with deviant and novel beliefs and practices.” So no, my dear,  Adventism is not a cult. It is widely recognized as a Protestant Church and while it is not a member of the World Council of Churches, the Adventist church has participated in WCC assemblies as an observer. (Thank you, Wikipedia!)

I am sure, dearie, that you know that, too. Especially in this day and age of the Interwebs and smartphone doohickeys where information is available at the swipe of a finger. So I can only assume that you have asked this question just to raise my dander and get my goat. Naughty, naughty!

A question like this, when based in condescending judgment and needless mockery,  only raises walls between us when loving, good-natured communication should rule the day.

So sweetie pie, next time you are tempted to crack wise with this question to some unsuspecting, perhaps over-earnest Adventist, I (in all loving-kindness) say to you:

Shut your pie-hole.

If, however, you ARE asking this question out of ignorance and truly want to know about the denomination, it would be wiser to avoid use of the word “cult” as it carries such negative and offensive connotations. Perhaps saying (with humble gentlesness, of course!) something like, “I desire to know more about Adventism. Could you tell me about it?” or even, “I heard you torture young virgins by forcing them to sing and pray for you on a stage every 7 days to appease a gigantic 3-headed being. Is that true?” would be better.

Auntie also suggests, humbly and gently, that perhaps a little more reading (conveniently, there is a links page with such information on this website) and a little less “Real Housewives” is in order.

Peace and blessings! Auntie Adventist

Got a question for Auntie? Don’t worry if you think it’s stupid. She’ll definitely let you know. Email her at AuntieAdventist@barelyadventist.com


LEAVE A COMMENT

4 Comments

  1. A. Nonymous

    Dear BarelyAdventist,

    My booooy, I am disappoint! I wrote a glorious e-mail to Auntie Adventism…poured me lil’ ‘eart and soul into it. And when I hit “send”, what did I find in my inbox? A note from Mailer Daemon advising that AuntieAdventist@barelyadventist.com doesn’t exist. I died a little inside. Here I was thinking this was the beginning of a Golden Era for Adventist satire. I am le sad.

  2. Ray Kraft

    If it’s one person, it’s eccentric.

    If it’s two, it’s a Folie aux Deux.

    If it’s three, it’s a Menage a Troix

    If it’s a million, it’s a cult.

    If it’s a billion, it’s a Great Religion!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *