Adventist Version Of “The Bachelor” Canceled After Last Eligible Man Marries

It’s been a rough day for producers of The Adventist Bachelor, an Adventist reality show promising to be the best thing to happen to Adventist television since Doug Batchelor’s first on-stage Read more […]

Chuck Norris converts to Adventism, turns world vegetarian

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Mere days after famed martial arts action movie star Chuck Norris announced his conversion to Seventh-day Adventism, vegetarianism has spread like wildfire as the diet of Read more […]

Southwestern Adventist University cashes in on Tex-Mex heritage, offers haystacks degree

KEENE, Texas — “We trust that this will settle the question of which is the ‘most Adventist’ of Adventist universities,” said Bubba Bigger, a Southwestern Adventist University spokesperson, Read more […]

San Antonio declared Blue Zone as Adventist centenarians arrive for General Conference

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — A team of National Geographic reporters has declared San Antonio a Blue Zone as scores of centenarians have descended upon the city for the Seventh-day Adventist Church’s Read more […]

Christian intimacy book, “The Adventist Missionary Position,” hits shelves

NAMPA, Idaho — In an attempt to counter secular guides to marriage intimacy, Pacific Press has released “The Adventist Missionary Position.” The publisher bills the book as being “jam-packed Read more […]

Ben Carson announces run for presidency, promises no Sunday Law

BREAKING NEWS BALTIMORE, Md. — In attempt to shore up Adventist support for his newly announced presidential bid, Ben Carson has promised to veto any and all attempts at passing Sunday Law Read more […]

Poll: 99% of Adventists believe it is better to give than to receive CHIP cookbooks

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The results of a Pew Survey into cultural attitudes within Adventism has unearthed timely data as Adventists everywhere gather under the Christmas tree to exchange gifts: Read more […]