Adventist Version Of “The Bachelor” Canceled After Last Eligible Man Marries

It’s been a rough day for producers of The Adventist Bachelor, an Adventist reality show promising to be the best thing to happen to Adventist television since Doug Batchelor’s first on-stage backflip.

According to a promotional campaign that has been running constantly on Adventist TV channels, the show planned to “introduce seven single Adventist women to one eligible Adventist bachelor and let the spirit move.”

After a months-long search, modestly accomplished male eBay seller, Lukas Doushas, was selected to play the role of the show’s Adventist bachelor. Seven far more attractive and educated women were then cast in a matter of hours as the show’s crew set up filming locations in Berrien Springs.

Meanwhile, Doushas, who was enjoying the Adventist spotlight, worked up the courage to elope with some girl he’d known since his days at Andrews Academy.

Considering the fact that half the show’s budget had been spent verifying the fact that Douchas was the last eligible Adventist male in circulation, The Adventist Bachelor was nixed.

 


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