Ingathering Robot To Go Door-to-Door In Place of Adventists

Gimme

Adventist World --- Church leaders are predicting that a newly-patented robot called Gimme will solve Adventists' ingathering woes. Gimme is programmed to go door-to-door and ask people to give money to ADRA or any other cause for which the denomination wants to fundraise.

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

"With dwindling enthusiasm for ingathering worldwide we are delighted that Gimme can do all the awkward work for us," said World Ingathering Coordinator, Knott Mee. "Even I'm sick of getting doors slammed in my face."

Gimme can deal with unlimited levels of rejection without slowing down whatsoever. He is programmed to answer a wide range of objections and to never leave a house without handing out a Glow tract.

If anyone yells at Gimme he simply gives them a Little Debbie Nutty Bar and moves on.


SPONSORED LINKS

You've had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

2 Comments

  1. richee rich

    To tell the truth, I often felt like a robot during the Ingathering time. You say the same thing over&over&over. You see the same negative response over&over&over. It’s easier to donate my quota than going door to door.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *