Adventist World --- Church leaders are predicting that a newly-patented robot called Gimme will solve Adventists' ingathering woes. Gimme is programmed to go door-to-door and ask people to give money to ADRA or any other cause for which the denomination wants to fundraise.
"With dwindling enthusiasm for ingathering worldwide we are delighted that Gimme can do all the awkward work for us," said World Ingathering Coordinator, Knott Mee. "Even I'm sick of getting doors slammed in my face."
Gimme can deal with unlimited levels of rejection without slowing down whatsoever. He is programmed to answer a wide range of objections and to never leave a house without handing out a Glow tract.
If anyone yells at Gimme he simply gives them a Little Debbie Nutty Bar and moves on.