As the famous Saturday Night Live skit taught us, there’s no such thing as too much cowbell. And as Adventists, we seem to have missed the memo on the gospel truth of more cowbell making everything better. Here are seven places where a generous sprinkling of that iconic bonk could really take things up a notch:
1. Sabbath Morning Song Service
Let’s be real, Sabbath morning song services can get a little sleepy sometimes. But imagine how much more rousing and spirited “Yes Lord Yes” would be with some cowbell riding that beat! The whole congregation would be swaying and bonking along in no time.
2. End of Sabbath School
Some Sabbath School teachers have a hard time finishing in time. But the hollow bonk of a cowbell could add just the right celebratory punctuation to signal it’s time to switch gears.
3. Church Service Clearing
Who among us hasn’t attended a church where a handful of charming but resolute chatterboxes linger in the foyer indefinitely after the benediction? Well, those folks are no match for a few crisp cowbell bonks to nudge them out the door.
4. Midweek Prayer Meeting
When was the last time you saw a well-meaning but longwinded prayer that couldn’t use a little extra cowbell energy to ring it on home? A few strategic bonks could save us all some time.
5. Loma Linda Operating Rooms
Nurses, get those cowbells ready! Studies show surgical patients experience elevated endorphin release when cowbell is applied judiciously during procedures. Plus, it just sounds fun!
6. Adventist Acapella Groups
Look, we love a slick set of archaic barbershop harmonies as much as the next person. But don’t those Adventist acapella groups run the risk of being a little too precious? A few well-placed cowbell bonks could give them some much-needed funk.
7. Church Service Livestream
For those of us healthy enough to avoid hospitals but not yet well enough to attend in-person church, the church service livestream has been a blessing. Only one thing could make this blessing bonkier: that’s right, you guessed it – more cowbell!
So there you have it, seven areas where more cowbell could take the Adventist experience from sedentary to exhilarating. If anyone asks, just tell them: “I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!”
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