Congregants could be seen from the street shaking their heads in disbelief as they talked animatedly and updated their social media accounts. The cause of the exodus appears to be that Aburrido had attempted to tell his life story one too many times.
“He tells it almost every Sabbath,” said long-time member Delbert Hrumph. “I’ve even heard him slip it into the occasional midweek prayer meeting. It’s seriously killing me.”
Hrumph shared that after hearing his pastor’s life story more times than he can remember, he feels confident he could narrate the fairly predictable ups-and-downs of his pastor’s life in his sleep.
“I know where the dramatic pauses happen. I know exactly when the tears will flow and I can tell the pastor’s jokes jokes better than he can,” said Hrumph.
Numerous congregants testified that merely hearing their pastor’s admission that he “may have shared a few of these experiences before,” set enough of the collective blood pressure rising this Sabbath that they all followed Hrumph’s lead and made for the exits.
Where single Adventists meet. Free 2-year membership. Divorced, widowed and never married welcome. Helping Adventists to marry Adventists.
We once had a pastor who, I swear, musta had 100 3×5 cards with a sermon paragraph neatly printed on each one, and every week he’d put ’em all in a basket and shake ’em up and draw them out at random and read them in whatever order they came out for the sermon the next Sabbath.
So I am like totally sympathetic with this Burbank congregation.
If there’s one thing I want to do before I die, it is to live.
So, is this a spoof on Doug Batchelor? Sure sounds like it. I think I’ve heard his caveman story and rich-aviation-dad story a hundred times.
Well, it’s better than just talking politics from the pulpit like me!
Makes me think of my late mother-in-law…when I first met her. Every week, she reviewed her life’s story, or portions of it.
She probably couldn’t help it. Probably had Alzheimer’s.
if the Lord had come at that very moment what would the members of that church tell the saviour of the world?it is never good to follow the majority,we all need to turn the searchlight within our self.
(Translate the pastor’s name)
Thanks for the extra giggle!
“THE BORING GENIUS” (hey, that sounds like me!)
Youse guys were not listening in the first place. I love these types of sermons. Bring em on
A group of deacons went to complain to the bishop, because the new priest preached the same sermon 6 times in a row. The bishop asked, “What was the sermon about?” The deacons couldn’t answer. So the bishop declared: “All right, I want you’ll to go back and tell the priest to preach it again!”
This situation is so sad. Had the members spoken privately to the Pastor? Had the church board dealt with the situation? I do not know the answers to this. Surely something could have been done privately to sort out the problem before this mass walk out…….and to publish negative information on the internet…….my heart is sad that we are publicising negative information about our church on the internet. Not good, especially for people who have left attending church. Boosts their decision.
“Do not believe everything you read on the Internet, especially if the site has disclaimers stating that it is only for satire and humor.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
Hazy Hazel. LOL!
Oh, come on, folks. It doesn’t hurt to hear a personal testimony several times. “Tell me the old, old story.”