Adventist man determined to mow lawn before Sabbath

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DUSTER, Kan. — Joe Twister, a devout Adventist blew off both a tornado warning and an obvious sighting today to make sure he mowed his lawn before Sabbath.

Twister told his wife and incredulous neighbors that he wasn’t about to let the sun set on a half-mown lawn.

He completely disregarded counsel to take advantage of the several hours he still had before sunset to take shelter.

As the tornado wreaked havoc upon the countryside around him, Twister took solace in the fact that the guests from church tomorrow would be impressed with the neat stipes he was meticulously crafting in the grass.

Over the roar of the tornado, Twister belted out “Don’t Forget the Sabbath” in a deep baritone while wondering if he had time for some weeding and a Home Depot run before his Sabbath bath.

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