Adventist parents breathe sigh of relief as Justin Timberlake performs wardrobe malfunction-free Super Bowl halftime show

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Man of the woods
Man of the woods
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Adventist parents across the United States breathed a collective sigh of relief as Justin Timberlake concluded his Super Bowl halftime show last night without a single wardrobe malfunction.

“I wasn’t a fan of the Prince tribute but I sure am glad he and his backup dancers managed to keep their clothes on,” said Collegedale-based Hugh Dunnit, interviewed at a Super Bowl party for his extended family. “Those of us old enough to remember what happened in 2004 were a little anxious about how those outfits were going to survive his crazy dance moves.”

Anne Sink from Battle Creek said that though she was pretty sure the “selfie kid” had no idea who Justin Timberlake was, “at least the kid’s most surreal memory of the night will be of snapping a Super Bowl picture with a popstar three times his age, dressed like he was going fishing.”

Sink added that Sabbath morning technical difficulties with her church’s AV system paled in comparison to the bizarrely muffled audio of the halftime show.

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