Adventists Resolve To Make It To Church On Time At Some Point In 2020

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Adorably late
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Friends and relatives of the Hopplös family have been roped into holding them accountable to their New Year’s resolution of making it to time on church once in 2020.

The young family decided to “really stretch” themselves this year and, in their own words, “do the impossible.”

The family has been stockpiling instant Roma in hopes the gossip juice substitute will help wake them up enough to make it out their driveway before their average 2019 departure time which typically had them sneaking into the back pew halfway through the sermon.


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One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    Its gonna take more than Roma to wake up some people. In my church, the kids’ SS teachers arrive around 10-1015 am. Parents with kids show up at 1030 am. Wonder why there is no 13th Sabbath programs anymore. A’int relevant anymore. The kids shows on 3ABN, etc. are more motivating & interesting. Hence we don’t need the local SS anymore. DUHHHHHH!!

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