SEATTLE, Wash. — Immediately following today’s announcement that the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has cleared Amazon to test drones for online delivery, the company announced Walla Walla University’s campus as its US testing site.
“We needed a semi-built up place in Washington with pretty much nothing going on,” said Amazon Prime Air spokesperson, Wendy Chopper. “We heard about Walla Walla from a couple of our engineers that had gone to school there before there was so much as a Taco Bell for miles. It looked like not a whole heck of a lot had changed so we quickly decided this would be our testing ground.”
Amazon is under strict FAA orders that drones must be flown at 400 ft or below during daylight hours and drones must remain within the line-of-sight of operators. To simulate meaningful product delivery, Amazon drones will offer lunch delivery to pre-selected Walla Walla students outside the residence hall window of their choice.
Chopper said that Amazon looks forward to involving the students and faculty of the university’s Edward F. Cross School of Engineering for parts of the drone testing program. “We are open to suggestions from young, inventive minds,” said Chopper. “You Adventists are big on early marriages so we could always look into engagement ring delivery to help automate the question-popping process for nerdy Engineering students.”
Amazon has given repeated assurances that the drone testing program will respect Walla Walla’s status as a faith-based school. Chopper said that, to respect Sabbath hours, Saturday drone activity will be restricted to gathering tithes and offerings at Walla Walla University Church. “Don’t worry, trained pilots will operate the church collection drones, we aren’t letting the regular deacons anywhere close to the controls.”
Special thanks to Macman for the story idea
Drones will do “engagement ring delivery to help automate the question-popping process for nerdy Engineering students.” Sounds like Walla Walla and Ms. Chopper must have read http://www.GodLikesJewelry.com and discovered that God is okay with pretty, shiny objects. Maybe someday even Southern and Oakwood will catch on.
Oh, oh, drones are like Ouija boards, you never know what you’re opening yourself up to. First it’s just Amazon, then pretty soon it’ll be McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King, Jack in the Box, In’n’Out Burger, Chipotle, Starbucks . . . not long, it’ll be Sierra Nevada Brewing Company . . . Red Box . . . Blockbuster . . . and then young men and women in their respective dorms will be flying notes and who knows what all around to each other by drone delivery . . .
The world turned upside down . . .
Ray, I thought about passing notes by drone, too. But I guess the young folks have pretty much replaced notes with e-mail and Twitter etc. I think they’re missing out. I loved to see a batch of paper notes arrive to the boys’ dorm, from the pretty co-eds in the girls’ dorm. Ah, the good old days!
Where is poor Richard Mills? Why hasn’t he weighed in yet? Did Dorothy put him in the doghouse as threatened in her last comment ( http://BarelyAdventist.com/marvel-studios-to-adapt-the-great-controversy-for-film/#comments ) ?
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