LANSING, Mich. — Conference organizers have decided to invite more than the usual roster of suited aging males to present at the 2015 Louisville-based GYC (Generation of Youth for Christ) Conference. This year, Amy Schumer, the most talked-about comedian in America, will deliver the opening keynote speech on Wednesday, December 30.
Schumer, who was brought up Jewish, is expected to pack the Kentucky International Convention Center as she speaks on the topic of women in leadership. “Pretty much nobody has the ear of young adults quite like Amy Schumer,” said lead GYC organizer Teddish Yungens, explaining the unusual speaking invitation.
Yungens emphasized that Schumer was selected because she tackles everything from gender discrimination to body acceptance in a way that connects with young adults. “Frankly, it was a little hard to find any of our usual speaker suspects that could do those topics justice,” said Yungens.
The organizer said that after a tumultuous General Conference Session this summer in which the GYC was widely perceived to have supported the vote to disallow women’s ordination, it was time to “do some damage control featuring a strong female who can make serious points in a lighthearted way.” He added that Schumer has been briefed on Adventist culture and has promised to tailor her jokes to a PG rating.
- Where Single Adventists meet. Free 2 year membership. Divorced, widowed, and never married welcomed. We want Adventists to meet other Adventists.
Interesting name for the GYC organizer, “Teddish Yungens.” I assume that means “Ted Wilson-like young people.” “He added that Schumer … has promised to tailor her jokes to a PG rating.” Shouldn’t that be a G rating? Either way, hopefully Ms. Schumer can talk some sense into them.
TRY TO TALK SENSE INTO THEM? SHE SHOULD NOT WASTE HER ENERGY. CAST NOT THY PEARLS BEFORE SWINE.
Amy is actually a wonderful role model for Adventists because even if she might smoke and go half naked, she doesn’t wear jewelry.
Thank God, San Bernardino PD killed 2 so far
The vote did not actually disallow women’s ordination overall. It only dealt with the authority of the executive committees of the individual world Divisions to independently allow women’s ordination. Some scholars and church leaders believe the question was flawed, because the authority to ordain actually rests with the Unions, not the Divisions. Theoretically, all the Unions should be able to ordain women (as the Pacific and Columbia Unions have been doing), regardless of the 8-page policy opinion issued by the G.C. Secretariat which claims that the General Conference is the only body with such authority. That opinion has been thoroughly refuted by Dr. Gary Patterson, retired G.C. Field Secretary, who showed that the Unions actually still have the authority.
Women in leadership? Ha, ha! Women should be barefoot and pregnant (or at least high-heeled models and on birth-control).
Barefoot and pregnant is fine. It will help to prevent them from becoming pastors. Well, on second thought, it’s fine for them to be pastors, as long as they are not ordained. (And it’s fine for Nancy to live with me, as long as we don’t get married.)
I hope Amy will also tell them to vote for a woman for President. (And I’m NOT referring to Carly Flouride.) By the way, let me give you some womanly advice: never agree with your wife when she asks “Do I look fat in this dress?” Just say: “I prefer a different color.” Never admit that she looks old; just say “I prefer to talk about a different subject.” And never, ever admit that you can’t stand your mother-in-law. Just cross your fingers behind your back and say, “Unfortunately, I will have to be away on business while your mom is here for two weeks. Please give her my fondest greetings.” Bill was always a master at giving such good answers (e.g., “I did not inhale” and “I did not have relations with ‘that woman'” and “It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is”).
Now Sevvy has gone from preaching to meddling. Why can’t he use his great writing talents to write something true and worthwhile, such as raunchy rap lyrics or Ben Carson’s hip-hop campaign commercials?
clearly, to me, this definitely a ‘God-thing’. This is really all about God leading Amy to learn how Sabbath keepers are soon to be severely harassed, universally. God has mysterious way of creating leaders for the ‘truth’. She can be a bull-dog on certain issues and one not to back down and shut her mouth. When she becomes a warning beacon I am sure she will strike a cord with a lot of sensible, modern people
Miss Shoeless, you just won the award for the comment with the most typos and grammatical errors ever. But it was a good comment, nonetheless. I would give it an A+, but I’ll give it an A- due to the ubiquitous mistakes. Go drink a Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider and try again.
not that terrible for being uneducated and having chemo brain
What language is that? It looks a little bit like Greek Creole.
BUT CAN SHE COOK AND CLEAN AND TEND TO THE HOUSE?
Who cares? Hire a maid.
HMM. OR MAYBE I CAN GET ANOTHER WIFE
Don’t get a second wife. No man can serve two masters!
Amy might be the most talked-about comedian in America, but she ain’t the funniest one. I nominate Hillary “Hilarious” Clinton. Everything she says is a joke. (For example: “I did not break the law with my unauthorized illegal private e-mail server.” “I never took a position on Benghazi until I took a position on Benghazi.” “I will never use the term ‘illegal immigrants’ again [whoops, I just used it again!].”)
fatal mistake was sipping too much Martinell’s Sparkling Cider
Rule # 1: Never sip too much Martinelli’s before making important public speeches. Rule # 2: Eat lots of Little Debbie’s until you pass out.
Rule # 3: “I did not inhale the Little Debbie’s.”
BIG DEAL. I SMOKED A WHAM AND TOFURKEY AND I DID NOT INHALE.
News Flash: Processed veggie “meat” is just as bad as processed real meat.
Eating veggie meat is Sublimation for the real thing.
Women in leadership? Heidi and I have two young daughters. I’m kind of glad we don’t have 17 daughters. I might become the manager of this nation, but everybody knows that the husband/father of the home is not necessarily the leader of the home.
Every real man knows that women rule the world. Husbands work their behinds off to support their wives, who glibly spend the hard-earned money on shopping sprees. Then these women have the gall to accuse their husbands of not being rich and successful enough. Or they put Hubby in the doghouse and withhold intimacy to get their way. And advertisers know that they need a seductive female to grace the picture of whatever product they are selling. There is no doubt about it: the world revolves around women, and they willingly “use” men to obtain money and security (which they call “love”). Marriage is little more than legalized prostitution–where men give money and “love” to get sex/cooking/washing/ironing, and women give sex/cooking/washing/ironing to get love/romance/money/security. It’s the biggest scheme and scandal in the world.
What an honest assessment–brutally accurate and so true.
Totally right! Marriage is little more than a glorified form of legal prostitution and quid pro quo.
And women are not saints. Women’s prisons are full of women.
Women in leadership? That’s a “no brainer”! Even a retired brain surgeon knows that! And yes, I actually have said women should be ordained. (That’s one of the few thongs I have not tried to back-track the next day.)
“I don’t see any reason why women can’t be ordained,” he said, adding that it was a “huge mistake” for Adventist leaders to vote against female ordination. (Christianity Today, Nov. 6, 2015)
“I love Catholics,” Carson proudly said. “My best friend is Catholic.” (Christianity Today, Nov. 6, 2015). And “I love black people. My wife is a black woman.” he said (Washington Post, May 2, 2015).
Dr. Carson’s best friend is Dr. Al Costa, the disgraced dentist who lost his license for health care fraud.
I LOVE CARS. I HAVE 5
I can see it, women make good leaders in Kitchens, housekeeping, childcare, laundromats, libraries, maternity wards, post partum.
Women should not be leaders. By nature, they are followers — and easily duped. Just look at Eve. If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t be in this mess. In fact, if it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t be here at all.
if it wasn’t for spineless Adam we wouldn’t be here
Way to go, Amy Clueless! You’re just like all of my other air-headed blondes.
OH I DONT KNOW ABOUT THAT, I KNOW I WOULD BE HERE, BUT YOU? NO WHERE TO BE FOUND
Why are we all here? Oh, I just got it: it’s because we ain’t all there.
Where did my shoes go? I can’t find them anywhere. Oh, that’s right, I never had any!
you have no idea how clairvoyant that was…yikes
Give me a break! This must be a scheme of the left-wing liberal media.
I would love to have Amy and Ellen meet in the same room. It would be entertaining to see Ellen break out in a rash of Isaws
Why can’t we all just get along?
Hey, “Millie Tant,” you sound to militant.
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH, I LIKE IT
“Very much” is more than “much,” and “too much” is more than “very much.” In some cases, “too much” is just more than “much.” In other cases, “too much” is simply more than “enough.” In yet other cases, “too much” just means “more than suits my taste.” But you don’t have to be wrong for me to be right.
Too much is never enough!
Don’t get cute on us now.
Now the Washington Post is ridiculing me for not believing in Hell and the rapture. https://www.WashingtonPost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/12/01/why-ben-carson-doesnt-believe-in-hell/ I’m tired of these left-wing liberal media attacks.
You should tell the “left-wing liberal socialist media” to go to Fire & Brimstone.
Or to take a hike (“a Sabbath day’s journey”).
I’m tired of retired neurosurgeons who can’t stand the liberal left-wing socialist media and try to capitalize on a presidential campaign by selling books. I’m also tired of Donald Dump and the vast right-wing conspiracy. I tired of just about everyone except myself. So vote for me. Thanks. “This ad was approved and paid for by Colonel Burny Sanders for President.”
I AGREE BERNIE, YOU LOOK TIRED, SICK AND UGLY TOO
And you look like Hillary. (That’s not a compliment, if you were wondering.)
BILL MADE ME THIS WAY. YOU? YOU WERE BORN UGLY.
As a Church Elder, I was shocked to see Deacon Jones inside the topless bar last night. I will report his transgression to the pastor and church board today. The Deacon has some serious explaining to do! He should be disfellowshipped and excommunicated immediately.
John, pray tell what you were doing in that topless bar?
Don’t worry; I was just keeping tabs on the Deacon and praying for the dancers. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it!
Oh, of course. Sounds like a “tough job” that any dirty old Elder would love. I guess you were giving them Bible studies too, right?
Absolutely. We were studying my favorite book of the Bible: the Song of Solomon.
Will ms schumer bare all?
Woe iz me
Is she one of those dancers that Elder Hippokritt was praying for and ministering unto in the topless bar?
If I am elected, I will put a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage. And I will kick the bucket about a year later, because I’ll be 76 years old. I’m old enough to be your great grandfather, and could almost be your great-great-grandmother.
Wow, you’re almost old enough to be Edith Greenley, the Loma Linda centenarian who sent a would-be mugger to the hospital by bashing him in the head with a can of vegan Big Franks and a copy of The Great Controversy.
DON’T TRY THAT AT HOME!
The report is clear and bright, without the added worthless details or else.
The speech is equally brilliant and vibrant, so the further I see, the longer I really do enjoy it!