BERRIEN SPRING, Mich. — According to an anonymous survey done of single seminarians at Andrews University, their favorite pick-up line by far is “God wants us to be together.”
Nine out of ten seminarians confessed to using the line to help their romantic efforts around campus.
“There’s a reason these guys are still single,” said Student Success Center spokesperson Noyoo Dident. “That line is as creepy as it is over-used.”
Dident has distributed tracts to the Andrews undergraduate population titled “No He Doesn’t.”
She encourages anyone approached by a seminarian wielding the pickup line to simply respond by handing over the tract and promising prayer.
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Please allow those seminarians to figure out their future mates. In the end, love conquers all. At least that’s what the late Mrs. R. Kilgore used to say.
In the midst of the barrage of scandals hitting the news nowadays, Ted Wilsson has been accused of harassing Little Debbie at the bakery 40 years ago by repeatedly demanding that “God wants us together.” She even claims that he signed her high school yearbook. However, Pastor Ted adamantly denounced the allegations, declaring that he never heard of this woman and has no idea where the bakery is or was. As for the yearbook, he and his wife declared that it is a forgery.