Angry Saint Hunting For EGW Quote For Perfect Comeback

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LOMA LINDA, Calif. —- Zader Cruise has spent the last couple hours scouring for ammo to give him the upper hand in his long-standing feud with the deputy head deacon at his church.

The two never miss an opportunity to leave judgy voicemails or fire off pointed tweets, targeting each other’s greatest weaknesses along with a quote from Testimonies.

Lately, Cruise has been running low on new quotations he can recite by heart so he has committed to spending as long as it takes to prepare the perfect comeback for any of the deacon’s favorite lines of critique.



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