Adventist At Cana Wedding Feast Wants Jesus To Turn Wine Into Welch’s

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Cana, Israel —- While happy Cana wedding guests enjoyed new wine from 6 stone jars, a nervous Adventist looked around the hall for any sign of a Martinelli’s bottle.

Not finding any and unwilling to look like a total prude with a glass of water, the Adventist decided that if Jesus could turn water to wine, He could turn wine into Welch’s.

Unfortunately, the dancing portion of the celebrations had just begun and the Adventist could not spot Jesus to save his life without appearing to himself, be moving to the music.

The beleaguered believer fumed at the thoughtlessness of the Master, wondering why he couldn’t have picked a better first miracle.

Unwilling to stay and give off the appearance of evil, he made an early exit.



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  1. Richard Mills

    Only the grapes from Napa Valley, near the EGWhite home will do. It is said the EGWhite made friends with the wine growers of that region, therefore only grapes from Napa Valley will do. Maybe Martinelli’s will work. PS-Welch is a union shop. No good! Dont forget-no GMO, no gluten, no refined sugar, cage free, range free, caffeine free, salt free, no artificial ingredients, no food colorings, no MSG, no nothing!!

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