Apple: Even Adam & Eve Loved Our Products

CUPERTINO, Calif. — A team of Old Testament scholars recently hired by Apple have uncovered what they call “unmistakable evidence the first humans loved Apple products.”

The previously unemployed PhDs claimed the earliest biblical art depicting bites from the forbidden fruit proved beyond a shadow of a doubt Adam and Eve were avid Apple users.

“Our first parents never missed a chance to upgrade to the latest model of sundials,” said a statement from the group, claiming spending half your paycheck on an iPhone was “downright biblical.”

---

SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

Follow @BarelyAdventist

.