Penny Pincher, the congregation’s head accountant was the first to speak, murmuring something about the “unfortunate level of generosity” at the diminuitive congregation this week.
She defensively added that the challenging total had absolutely nothing to do with the decidedly Roman name of the church.
Noticing that her words were helping nothing, Pincher threw a single dollar bill into the offering pile, causing the stressed-out group to let out a collective sigh of relief.
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Did you ever notice that Solomon’s ships brought in 666 talents of gold each year?
Better check those dollar bills again. Don’t they all have masonic symbols on them? I avoid those dreaded masonic, evil, satanic, pagan symbols. I will not have the mark of the beast on my body. Let’s go paperless, coinless, plastic less and go back to bartering.