Biden’s Dog Joins GC Security

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SILVER SPRING, Md. – With news that one of US President Joe Biden’s dogs was being removed from the White House over a biting incident involving White House security, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists spotted an opportunity. Before Major Biden could be sent to Biden’s family home in Delaware, the Adventist headquarters recruited the now-famous German shepherd to join the GC building’s security team. “Recent force reductions mean that critical areas like our extensive collection of Millerite-era binoculars, Ellen’s big Bible and a year’s supply of Worthington Leanies have been left virtually unguarded,” said GC spokesperson, Wilson Pocket. He explained that Major Biden would be allowed to run around the HQ unleashed to “strike fear into potential thieves and anyone from the NAD that happens to be visiting.”  

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