Family Excited to Be Missionaries Wherever Jesus Leads — as Long as it’s in Hawaii

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Forget mud huts and malaria, the Johnson family has a new definition of missionary work: “paradise with a purpose.” This sun-kissed clan is swapping Bibles for beach towels in their quest to spread the Good Word – Hawaiian style.

“We’ll follow the Lord wherever he leads, as long as it’s in Hawaii,” said Mrs. Johnson, the family’s resident evangelista with a tan line sharper than her wit.

“God works in mysterious ways, and apparently, He wants us to witness in swimsuits,” she said.

Cue the raised eyebrows, but the Johnsons are unfazed. They see Hawaii’s blend of beaches and blessings as the ultimate mission field.

Mr. Johnson, the patriarch with a surfer’s swagger and a preacher’s passion, chimes in, “Why preach in Patagonia when you can praise the Lord with a virgin mai tai in hand?” Their enthusiasm is infectious, even if their logic is a touch, well, tropical.

The Johnson kids, already sporting island wear and suspiciously good ukulele skills, are stoked. “We’re bringing the Good News island style, brah!” they declare, their excitement bordering on luau-levels.

Now, some might scoff at their “beach bum with a Bible” approach. But the Johnsons are resolute. They believe their future suntans are divinely ordained. “Who says spreading the Gospel can’t come with a side of sunshine?” Mrs. Johnson winks, her lei shimmering like a neon halo.

The only problem the Johnson’s have is funding. Their local church board voted the Johnson’s proposal to make the Four Seasons their mission HQ was not in this year’s budget.


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