GC Launches Pre-Pathfinder Program For Babies Still In Womb

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — The GC announced last month that it will be launching a new companion ministry to Pathfinders, Adventurers, Eager Beavers and Little Lambs. Introducing: the Mustard Seeds.

Aimed at children still in the womb, Mustard Seeds is a club for expecting mothers to get together to read and sing aloud from a curriculum designed for their up-and-coming bundles of joy.

Helen Bianca, a member of the pilot ministry in Orlando, says “Our group is just finishing up our third honor. I can’t wait for my little guy to be born so I can put on his tiny custom sash.”

Andy Trinitarian, a local parent of a rebellious young adult who left the church, says: “Independent thought is entirely too dangerous, and we can’t take any chances. We talk about reaching kids with the Three Angels’ messages while they’re young, but what about between conception and when they’re old enough for Little Lambs? There’s been nothing for this age group, until now.”

Thanks to Mustard Seeds, Seventh-day Adventists can now start learning precious truths in the womb, be born in an Adventist hospital, join Adventist preschool programs, go through Adventurers, Pathfinders, Adventist elementary school, Academy, University, and Med School, go to an Adventist church, work in an Adventist Hospital, eat at Adventist restaurants and shop at Adventist grocers, grow old in an Adventist group home, and be buried in an Adventist cemetery.

“We’ve literally removed the danger of ever having to come in contact with a non-SDA person,” says program designer Jarvey Hellogg. “And if your kids get into the accelerated program, they could potentially be a TLT by age 10 and graduate with a Bachelors in Theology by age 15. How’s that for practical?”

Special thanks to Zayne Pack for the guest post.

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2 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    Dosen’t the Cradle Roll do this?
    New slogan for 2020 GC session–MAGA=”Make Adventism Great Again”.
    Let’s get this slogan on caps, t-shirts, bumper stickers, banners, peel off stickers, coffee mugs, signs in ABC stores, Pathfinder trading pins, Bible book marks, church bulletin, etc. The list is endless.

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