Joe Biden Touts Advanced Age In Attempt To Win Over Loma Linda Centenarians

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Loma Linda, Calif. — In an attempt to boost voter approval ratings in California, former US Vice President Joe Biden has been cruising around Loma Linda telling Adventist centenarians the truth about how very old he is.

The presidential contender has told spritely 100-year-old Adventists that while Bernie Sanders technically is a little older than him, he has way better napping skills than the senator from Vermont.

“I’m practically Ben Carson when it comes to needing a Sabbath Day of snoozing,” said Biden, saying what kept him going was the chance to fight for better senior centers in Blue Zones.

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