Kanye To Reinvent Baptismal Robes As President

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Los Angeles, Calif. — Vowing to “make baptismal robes great again,” Kanye West restated his intention to run for United States president this week.

The rapper/designer surprised nobody, saying he would be a president “unlike anyone that has come before.”

Adding more detail to his proposed reinvention of baptismal robes, West said the Yeezy design would give the gowns an “athleisure vibe that would work just as well at a birthday party as on a baptismal candidate or a Supreme Court judge.”

West offered to let a “lucky denomination” test his reinvented robes on a first come, first served basis.

The Adventist Church has said the robe design will have to be reviewed in a dedicated compliance committee before any formal requests are made for samples.

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