“The time has come for La Sierra to leave the Inland Empire,” said a press release from administration that described the move as “long over-due and highly necessary.”
Students waved from car windows and from the back of pickup trucks honking along to raucous cheers and people waving signs congratulating the brave Californians for taking a stand and leaving their state.
“The best is yet to come!” read one brightly-decorated sign, while another boldly declared, “Your adventure awaits!”
Students, faculty and staff shared memories of good times in the Inland Empire. But the tales of smog, traffic, fires, rent hikes and D-list celebrities did little to dampen the enthusiasm with which the fed up La Sierra crowd headed East.
At press time nobody in the caravan seemed to know where in Texas they were headed.
“Just steer clear of Southwestern,” was the only guidance they’d received.
You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.