Michael Phelps thanks Ted Wilson for death stare coaching

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

Practice makes perfect.
Practice makes perfect.
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — US Olympian Michael Phelps delighted the world with a death stare aimed at fellow olympian Chad Le Clos yesterday. Although the gold medalist’s expression was immediately dubbed #PhelpsFace on social media, Phelps was quick to give credit to his Death Stare Coach — President of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Ted Wilson.

“#PhelpsFace would never have been perfected were it not for what I call TedFace,” said the grateful swimmer. Phelps said that he had spent hours receiving personal coaching from Wilson and had also analyzed hundreds of hours of Wilson’s sermon tapes to perfect his stark demeanor.

“Ted has the death stare down better than anyone in athletics,” said Phelps. “Whenever I need to get in the zone, I just put my headphones on and channel Ted.”

Phelps added that if looks could kill, entire congregations would be dead.

Advertise on BarelyAdventist


Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.


(Visited 745 times, 1 visits today)


  1. richard mills

    Teddy developed this unique stare during the Women’s Ordination fiasco. It also comes from consuming lotsa Little Debbies at the GC commissary. Been there-done that. I like to frown upside down. Woe iz me.

  2. Arciwboy

    Glad to see someone else has recognized that stare. I always wondered about Wilson , just never seemed to be a happy Christian Can only imagine what that stare must have looked to Starbucks workers when he closed them down in Atlanta GC. as soon as he was elected . After they had spent so many thousands trying to be kosher so as to accommodate the “peculiar ” customers .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *