Ordination Practice Scrapped For Being Too Touchy-Feely

ADVENTIST WORLD — Leaders of the Adventist Church have announced the scrapping of ordination.

The reason given for the discontinuation of the practice was the “touchy-feely” nature of ordination services.

A memo to all Adventist congregations called the initiation services “way too dangerous” given the new normal of social distancing.

“The typical Adventist ordination involves the laying on of far too many hands for comfort,” said the memo.

“A mere look at pictures of ordination services gives us the heebie-jeebies,” added the message from leadership, warning the practice was way more trouble than it was worth.


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One comment

  1. richard mills

    Many hands make light work. With all this laying on of hands, these elders might get light headed and make the church members do all the work. I am against church members doing all the work. That’s the job of the pastor & elders.

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