Schwarzenegger’s ‘New Celebrity Apprentice’ features contest to double La Sierra enrollment

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Get to da choppa!!
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — As Arnold Schwarzenegger takes over as the Terminator-in-Chief of The New Celebrity Apprentice, one of the challenges he has planned is of particular interest to Adventists.

Sources say that in the seventh show episode, Schwarzenegger plans to fly the team of contestants via chopper from the NBC studios in Los Angeles to the nearby campus of La Sierra University in Riverside, California.

Two teams of Apprentice contestants will compete to see who can recruit more students to the Adventist university, the goal being to double next year’s enrollment by the two teams’ collective efforts.

“Donald Trump never challenged his Apprentice contestants to boost enrollment at La Sierra,” said NBC spokesperson Septimo Diaz. “And its not just because your average American has never heard of the place.”

Diaz said that though the scale of the enrollment challenge had put off former host President-Elect Donald Trump, Schwarzenegger was immediately enticed as he could think of “nothing harder than to recruit American high schoolers to a vegetarian, religious enclave with curfews and gender-specific dorms.”

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