Soaring toiletry costs panic Adventist families as Soap Craft Pathfinder honor makes comeback

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Panicked Adventist parents from around the world have been bombarding the General Conference Youth Department with news of skyrocketing family toiletry costs. The reason for the sharp increase in expenses appears to be a resurgence in the popularity of the Soap Craft Pathfinder honor.

“I have two kids in Pathfinders and both are getting their Soap Craft honor this year,” said Tuscon, Ariz. – based homemaker, Sandra Johnson. “Every Sunday they grab huge value packs of soap at Costco and throw them in the shopping cart. By Wednesday evening they have carved through all of them.”

“We simply cannot afford this,” wrote Dave and Jannine Rivers from Watford, England in their third complaint email to the GC Youth Department. “We thought Pathfinders only meant buying uniforms and paying for campouts a couple times a year. Our kids’ soap needs are through the roof.”

Complaints about soaring soap purchases have intensified to the point where the GC youth department has begun routing all soap-related calls to a separate voicemail account. “We have hundreds of unchecked messages,” said Youth Department data analyst, Sonya Rigby, “They all sound the same and there’s no way we’ll get to them all.”

The Youth Department has opted for for a “wait and see” approach to dealing with the complaints so far. “Hopefully this soap-carving craze will blow over,” said Youth Director, Julio Perla. “If not it may be the first time we have to phase out an honor patch due to over-popularity.”

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One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    There is an element of truth in your satire on soap carving. Check into the costs of some other honors such as coins, stamps, chemical elements, ham radio, model ship construction, model car racing, any of the electronics honor. Any honor that requires a collection of stuff is expensive. But if your kid wants the honor-DO IT NOW or the kid leaves Pathfinders and the SDA church!! Woe is me!!

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