Southern closes after dining hall accidentally serves bacon instead of Stripples

Easily done...
Easily done…
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In what administrators admit constitutes an unpardonable sin for an Adventist institution, Southern Adventist University disclosed that bacon strips had been served to students instead of Stripples.

“The two food products look remarkably similar,” said Southern spokesperson Lechon Diba to a large gathering of reporters, adding that Southern’s theologians had immediately concluded that the bacon strips had posed as the culinary version of wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Diba said that Southern would close to “regroup and get creative about how to make our rules and regulations stricter so that something like this never happens again.”

She expressed her sincere regrets that the crisis of mistaken culinary identity had not befallen a more deserving Adventist school.


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2 Comments

  1. Could it have been Stripples configured in a different format to appeal to more consumers? Didn’t the Food Science Department have a hand in this? By the way, how come there is no beat down when SAU consumes all those Little Debbies? Please let me know how this works out!!

  2. Thom

    As an alum of SMC, now SAU, AND as a former chef in the cafeteria’s kitchen, this is one of the most ridiculous posts yet. Bacon could not ever get through the door. Surely there are other Adventist things to satirize.

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