Southern increases student fines to keep up with inflation

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Sky's the limit
Sky’s the limit
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has raised the price of students fines to keep up with inflation.

All of the items on the university’s impressively comprehensive list of finable offenses will now cost 2.5% more than last year.

“We simply can’t afford to get sloppy about the veggie cash cow that is our time-honored fines system,” said Southern’s VP for Creative Charges, Joe Upenup.

“By keeping up with inflation we ensure that we are not only setting fine amounts that act as effective deterrents against offenses but we are able to fund research into areas of student discipline that have yet to be monetized.”

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