COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Ahead of the first day of classes Southern Adventist University has created a new slogan for the 2014-2015 school year: “Holy Kissing.” Students will be encouraged to greet each other with a kiss whenever they meet around campus.
“In 2 Corinthians 13:12 the apostle Paul calls on us to ‘Greet one another with a holy kiss.’ In keeping with Southern’s tradition of interpreting the scriptures literally we have decided to be faithful to Paul’s instructions,” said a general advisory sent to students ahead of their arrival.
The advisory also lays out what it terms “Guidelines for holy kissing.” Students are instructed to restrict kisses to “cheerful pecks on the cheek.”
“Inappropriate kissing will not be tolerated,” warned VP for Student Life, Edna Callister in an attachment to the advisory. “Any lip-to-lip kissing will result in disciplinary action,” she said, adding that lip-to-lip kissing of over 60 seconds could result in suspension.
Callister warned that the school’s campus had been fitted with additional security cameras over the summer. “We will catch holy kiss abusers wherever they are on campus, even if they are hiding in the prayer garden.”
Southern is taking the pure joy out kissing with the lip to lip ban!! Anybody can peck you on the cheek like Grandma does when you go there on a visit or vacation. Nothing was mentioned about any sloppy, wet, moisture type kissing. What’s next? Holy Hugging? Holy Foot Tapping? Holy Touching? Holy Water? Holy Whatever? Holy Smoke, I’m outta here. Woe is me!
PS-When I am at Southern, I am going to be selective and “kiss” the cute girls!! Everybody else-watch out!