COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — If your name happens to be Sarah, Seth or Jeremiah, Walla Walla University has a late Christmas miracle of an announcement for you. Effective this Spring Quarter, students with biblical names are entitled to scholarship funds covering half of their tuition and board. The scholarship is available to both new students and current students although no retroactive refunds on fees already paid will be offered to qualifying current students.
“We encourage applicants with biblical first or last names to contact Enrollment immediately as these funds will not last forever,” said Enrollment Specialist Cody Wilson. She explained that the scholarship was made available by a small group of anonymous donor alumni who had always dreamt of “a more biblically-aligned student body.”
Wilson stressed that Walla Walla is very open to appropriately-named transfer students from other Adventist schools. “If you have a qualifying name there is no reason that you should be racking up loans at some other Adventist school that doesn’t realize what you have to offer,” said Wilson.
Walla Walla’s administration has expressed its excitement about the new scholarship, what it means for enrollment numbers and the school’s distinctive culture. “We felt that populating our student body with biblical names would enrich our campus spiritual life and set us apart from the competition,” said Campus Ministries Director Philip Matthews. “For years now we’ve had to endure the likes of Southern and Southwestern owning the market on students with biblical names and we thought it was time to show them what’s up.”
Special thanks to May Lacey for the story idea
Rats!! Had I know that I would’ve waited 34 years before having kids. Always a dollar short and a generation late.
I know a guy with this Bible name–Matthew Mark Dodo. Matthew & Mark are well known. It’s up to you to figure out the name “Dodo”. Woe is me. First correct response wins a can of “Nuteena”.
I know a boy named “Methuselah” in Florida. No joke. I better tell his parents about this special discount at WWU. I also know an SDA guy named Russel Nail. His nickname is Rusty. What were his parents thinking?
Both my first and my last name are biblical. Is it possible for me to get a full discount then? 😉