One of the areas that will never be the same is footwashing. To allow for social distancing while maintaining the time-honored practice, footwashing will now take place outside the church building.
"Instead of sloshing around water with those little plastic basins and having to touch the feet of the other person, Adventists will now take turns spraying down each other's feet in the church parking lot with a high-pressure garden hose," said General Conference Director of COVID-19 Workarounds, Kam Biando.
The director warned the revised footwashing protocol would require an entirely new set of skills.
"You will no longer be judged on your ability to prevent spilling water all over the Kindergarten Room floor as you head over to your footwashing partner, " said Biando.
"What matters now is aim. You've got to get their feet and their feet only with the hose," he said.
"Your average Adventist is not going to take kindly to being washed head-to-toe, Peter-style."