SAN ANTONIO, Texas --- After decades of earnest study and impassioned debate on the issue, Adventists voted overwhelmingly today to uphold the church's stance on the horse and buggy as the sole form of Adventist transportation.
Today's vote came at the end of a long day of floor debate as General Conference San Antonio delegates took turns speaking for or against the suggestion that modern technological progress had made available other forms of transportation that could, on a case-by-case basis, enhance the effectiveness of church work and mission.
Valiantly chaired by GC Vice President Paciencia de Job, today's discussions took place in front of tens of thousands of Adventists gathered in the Alamodome. "Please refrain from clapping," Paciencia urged repeatedly, trying to control the crowd as delegates outdid themselves sprinting up to multiple mics with points of order and last-minute-campaigning-garbed-as-dispassionate-observation.
Whenever discussion got too heated, Job wisely broke the tension by calling for prayer or organ music breaks. Given the huge crowd, he even joked about taking up an offering in a moment of rare levity during the intense church business proceedings.
In the end, despite energetic campaigning of "YES vote" fans arguing the merits of expanding Adventist modes of transportation, car fans were no match for a rock solid "NO vote" horse and buggy lobby that carried the vote 1381 to 977.
"I'm a committed but pretty disappointed Adventist today," said Joven Solitario, one of the few delegates under 30. "I'm all for unity but limiting ourselves to horse and buggy means a bumpy ride ahead."
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